bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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