and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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