Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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