im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
