Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
