her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
