I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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