so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
