I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
