Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize