so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
