I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
