the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im holly from the hills drunk
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You've changed since you got that strap on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
