I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
