The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
