Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
