you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
