rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
should my penis look like a turkey
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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