So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there was a trapeze. enough said
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
