dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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