i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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