Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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