Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
