Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
