I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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