everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
