In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
