hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
