is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
