she looked like the bat from fern gully.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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