I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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