we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
