I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
