I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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