Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
