There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
