You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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