dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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