I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
