so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
