I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
