You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
