I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
