Buhtt sex?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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