Don't you send me to vm
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
