i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
