i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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