You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
