He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
