Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
